Sometimes it isn’t fun. 

Normally I enjoy the gym, it’s funny that the most relaxing parts of my week are the times when I’m being pushed the hardest physically. When you’re 100% concentrated on an exercise, when you’re pushing your limits, nothing else matters. Any other worries are forgotten as you concentrate on nothing else but making that final rep. 

I didn’t enjoy today. 

In fact, I very nearly didn’t go.

I’m on call for the hospital this weekend and last night around 10:30pm I got a call saying they had a patient who needed an emergency operation. We eventually left at around 5am. So I was exhausted, not just because of the time frame but because of the stress of the case. This patient was sick, really sick, it took us over an hour of work in the anaesthetic room before we could even get him asleep and ready for surgery. 

So this morning I was tired, dog tired, I woke up after about 4 hours sleep feeling like I’d had a heavy night out, which I had I suppose, but not in a good way, and not involving any drink! I told myself all morning that I was going to head to the gym in a little while, but as the morning went on my resolved wained. 

Eventually around 2pm I gave myself a bit of a slap and dragged myself out of the on call flat to go to the gym. I was still tired, and I hit the deadlifts pretty hard yesterday and my lower back was aching a fair bit. Frankly going to the gym was bottom of a long list of things I wanted to do certainly a long way below going home to see my family (which I can’t do when I’m on call) and going back to sleep (which to be fair I could have done). 

My workout was shorter than normal, just over an hour rather than my usual 1.5-2 hours, and every minute of it dragged. 

The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes you don’t want to work out, you don’t want to run, you don’t want to cycle, you don’t want to have to worry if what you’re eating is healthy or not. Sometimes it’s ok to give in, sometimes it’s ok to say fuck it, I’m taking the day off. But that day wasn’t today. 

The thing is due to my job and my work rota there are days where I physically can’t get a workout in. Today, short of any more emergencies at the hospital, there was nothing for me to do, nothing to stop me going to the gym. Yeah I could have not gone and told myself I was sore and exhausted and totally deserved a day off. But I didn’t. 

Sometimes it’s ok to say fuck it I’m not going, but sometimes you just have to give yourself a push.

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